Funny Quotes for a Happy 60th Birthday, plus serious ones too

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Funny Birthday Quotes for Sexagenarians

It may seem frisky but that is the term for people in their 60’s, some of whom might remember the other 60’s. Before I forget, on to the funny quotes.

I have a problem about being nearly sixty: I keep waking up in the morning and thinking I’m thirty-one.
Elizabeth Janeway

Now that I’m over sixty I’m veering toward respectability.
Shelley Winters

Actually, being sixty-five isn’t so bad. As a matter of fact, I rather like being called a sexagenarian. At this time of life, it sounds like flattery.
James Humes

Now that I am sixty, I see why the idea of elder wisdom has passed from currency.
John Updike

She was born in the year of our Lord only knows. The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost. They are added to other women’s.
Diane de Poitiers

At age twenty, we worry about what others think of us. At age forty, we don’t care what they think of us. At age sixty, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.
Ann Landers

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
Jim Fiebig

In the last few years everything I’d done up to sixty or so has seemed very childish.
T. S. Eliot

Youth is when you are allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you are forced to.
Bill Vaughn

They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I’m in a depression.
Rick Majerus

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where on earth she is.
Ellen DeGeneres

I am now old enough to no longer have a fear of dying young.
Bruce Ades

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
Herbert Asquith

If you want to know how old a woman is… ask her sister-in-law.
Edgar Howe

When our vices desert us, we flatter ourselves that we are deserting our vices.
François de La Rochefoucauld

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
Oscar Wilde

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
H.L. Mencken

Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Ogden Nash

You know you’re getting older when you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along.
Jacob Braude

We are only young once. That is all society can stand.
Bob Bowen

Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old; it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother.
J. Norman Collie

I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past.
Robert Brault

The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

We’ve reached an age that when construction workers stare at us it’s because they figure we might be considering a remodeling job.
Susan McClellan

I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do.
Phyllis Diller

You’ve got to be fifty-nine years ole t’believe a feller is at his best at sixty.
Frank McKinney Hubbard

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
Truman Capote

One of the good things about getting older is that you find you’re more interesting than most of the people you meet.
Lee Marvin

You’re never too old. Unfortunately, you’re always too young to know it.
Robert Brault

Young, as compared with the Grand Canyon, for instance?
Dorothy Parker

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
Doug Larson

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she’s as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
Robert Orben

I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it’s all a little bit lower.
Gypsy Rose Lee

Middle age is when your classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.
Bennett Cerf

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
Tom Wilson

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.
Anthony Powell

Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips.
John Wagner

How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years gotten enough to eat and escaped being eaten?
Logan Pearsall Smith

Serious Sexagenarians

Off from the funny and on to more reflective quotes.

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you’re exactly the same.
Audrey Hepburn

At sixty, I know little more about wisdom than I did at thirty, but I know a great deal more about folly.
Mason Cooley

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you’d find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies.
Dave Barry

Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits.
Samuel Butler

Twenty can’t be expected to tolerate sixty in all things, and sixty gets bored stiff with twenty’s eternal love affairs.
Emily Carr

Age is not all decay; it is the ripening, the swelling, of the fresh life within, that withers and bursts the husks.
George MacDonald

A man of sixty has spent twenty years in bed and over three years in eating.
Arnold Bennett

The secret of long life is double careers. One to about age sixty, then another for the next thirty years.
David Ogilvy

There has never been an intelligent person of the age of sixty who would consent to live his life over again. His or anyone else’s.
Mark Twain

When you reach your sixties, you have to decide whether you’re going to be a sot or an ascetic. In other words, if you want to go on working after you’re sixty, some degree of asceticism is inevitable.
Malcolm Muggeridge

’Tis at sixty a man learns how to value home.
Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Sixty years is too brief a compass for man’s imagination. The incomplete joys of this world can never satisfy his heart.
Alexis de Tocqueville

Though it sounds absurd, it is true to say I felt younger at sixty than I felt at twenty.
Ellen Glasgow

You must not pity me because my sixtieth year finds me still astonished. To be astonished is one of the surest ways of not growing old too quickly.
Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette

Happy Sixtieth Birthday to you and yours.
Ken

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