Funny Birthday Quotes for Sexagenarians
It may seem frisky but that is the term for people in their 60’s, some of whom might remember the other 60’s. Before I forget, on to the funny quotes.
I have a problem about being nearly sixty: I keep waking up in the morning and thinking I’m thirty-one.
Now that I’m over sixty I’m veering toward respectability.
Actually, being sixty-five isn’t so bad. As a matter of fact, I rather like being called a sexagenarian. At this time of life, it sounds like flattery.
Now that I am sixty, I see why the idea of elder wisdom has passed from currency.
She was born in the year of our Lord only knows. The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost. They are added to other women’s.
Diane de Poitiers
At age twenty, we worry about what others think of us. At age forty, we don’t care what they think of us. At age sixty, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.
Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
In the last few years everything I’d done up to sixty or so has seemed very childish.
T. S. Eliot
Youth is when you are allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you are forced to.
They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I’m in a depression.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where on earth she is.
I am now old enough to no longer have a fear of dying young.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
If you want to know how old a woman is… ask her sister-in-law.
When our vices desert us, we flatter ourselves that we are deserting our vices.
François de La Rochefoucauld
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
You know you’re getting older when you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along.
We are only young once. That is all society can stand.
Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old; it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother.
J. Norman Collie
I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past.
The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
We’ve reached an age that when construction workers stare at us it’s because they figure we might be considering a remodeling job.
I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do.
You’ve got to be fifty-nine years ole t’believe a feller is at his best at sixty.
Frank McKinney Hubbard
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
One of the good things about getting older is that you find you’re more interesting than most of the people you meet.
You’re never too old. Unfortunately, you’re always too young to know it.
Young, as compared with the Grand Canyon, for instance?
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she’s as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it’s all a little bit lower.
Gypsy Rose Lee
Middle age is when your classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.
Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.
Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips.
How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years gotten enough to eat and escaped being eaten?
Logan Pearsall Smith
Off from the funny and on to more reflective quotes.
Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you’re exactly the same.
At sixty, I know little more about wisdom than I did at thirty, but I know a great deal more about folly.
If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you’d find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies.
Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits.
Twenty can’t be expected to tolerate sixty in all things, and sixty gets bored stiff with twenty’s eternal love affairs.
Age is not all decay; it is the ripening, the swelling, of the fresh life within, that withers and bursts the husks.
A man of sixty has spent twenty years in bed and over three years in eating.
The secret of long life is double careers. One to about age sixty, then another for the next thirty years.
There has never been an intelligent person of the age of sixty who would consent to live his life over again. His or anyone else’s.
When you reach your sixties, you have to decide whether you’re going to be a sot or an ascetic. In other words, if you want to go on working after you’re sixty, some degree of asceticism is inevitable.
’Tis at sixty a man learns how to value home.
Sixty years is too brief a compass for man’s imagination. The incomplete joys of this world can never satisfy his heart.
Alexis de Tocqueville
Though it sounds absurd, it is true to say I felt younger at sixty than I felt at twenty.
You must not pity me because my sixtieth year finds me still astonished. To be astonished is one of the surest ways of not growing old too quickly.
Happy Sixtieth Birthday to you and yours.